So I have just come back from my holiday in Wales (that’s a lie: in reality I’m still in Wales while writing this, but you won’t know that), and I figured that as my first blog post after my return, I would share with you a few of my experiences. However, I won’t talk about landscapes you can also just google or give you a boring day-by-day outline of my trip. Instead, I will pick out a few very important life lessons, so that we can all learn from this wonderful experience!
Life lesson number 1: BRING A FREAKING MAP! You might think it’s all easy to find, but it’s not… Oh, and bring a compass, because if you think you can navigate using the sun… well… you clearly haven’t been to Wales, because in Wales, there is no such thing as a “sun”. There’s just clouds and a lot of rain.
Life lesson number 2: Bring change! A very reliable source told me that people in Wales don’t use wallets, and instead, they carry around big bags of hoarded change. Being in Wales without change is lethal. You won’t be allowed on buses and you won’t be able to buy anything. A particularly grumpy bus driver either wanted me to give him my 10 pound note or he would have let me get killed by all the drug addicts in the streets of Cardiff.
Life lesson number 3: Don’t be in the centre of Cardiff at night. There are lots of creepy drug addicts.
Life lesson number 4: STUDY EVERY NAME OF EVERY PLACE YOU MIGHT GET CLOSE TO! I’m serious… pronouncing those Welsh names is impossible without a lifetime of extensive education… I mean… who even comes up with names like Llandagog or Betws-Y-Coed only to pronounce them using a completely different alphabet… Oh, and if you tried pronouncing those two words and you are not Welsh, then let me assure you: you weren’t even close.
Life lesson number 5: If you want to catch a train in mid-Wales, you might want to bring a flag. At some stations the train will just rush by unless you signal to the driver that you would like to get in… they’ve even put some pedestals near the railing. Also, this train goes 4 times a day and it’s made up of one car. And it has to hunk the horn at every crossing to warn the cars that the train is coming because there is no automated system. Clearly Wales is a great place to go to if you want to experience the 19th century first-hand!
Life lesson number 6: When a man tells you that the only entrance to the station is through the bushes, over the rails and onto the platform, don’t trust him. It’s more likely that the entrance is inside a house.
Life lesson number 7: Sometimes the entrance to the train station is through someone’s house.
Life lesson number 8 You should really go to Wales. It is amazing, the landscape is beautiful, there are lots of castles and the people are wonderful and incredibly helpful. It is an amazing country everyone should visit at least once.
Life lesson number 9: Don’t ever go to Wales.
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