Yesterday I was watching one of Laci Green’s videos, which, as usual, brewed up some criticism within me. I very much enjoy watching her videos, but I fear that the main reason for that is because they inspire me to think the opposite. Now, for those who don’t know Laci Green: She is a Youtuber who talks a lot about sex (in an educative way, I might add) and who is probably a prime example of a passionate feminist.
In yesterday’s video, she talked about losing your virginity, but what I was interested in was HOW she spoke about this: it was entirely focused on women. Soon, discussion in the comments evolved and the first feminist comments of “men’s situation is not comparable” and “it’s much worse for women” started popping up. Fair enough, you might say, and I don’t have the knowledge to disagree, but what I do know is that it is definitely the wrong way to approach an issue.
To explain this, I will get back to the roots of it all. When feminism first started to evolve, it was a wonderful initiative. It was progressive and it challenged existing norms, exactly as it should be. However, fast-forward to the 21st century, and you’ll find that feminism IS the existing norm, and as is always the case with whatever is commonly accepted in society, it has developed flaws.
Specifically, it has generally become a rather single-minded effort and the view that feminism in its current form is perfect is starting to become more dominant, while in reality, nothing “societal” is ever perfect. This closed-mindedness has led many feminists to focus primarily on the female perspective, and when change is necessary, it is always sought on the female side of the issue.
This brings me back to yesterday’s video: Laci discussed the issue that while it is positive for a man to lose his virginity early on, for women, it is often looked down upon, and “slut shaming” is almost exclusive to women. Once again, fair enough, this is indeed a problem. However, it is not solved by only focusing on women and trying to convince the world that it is fine to lose your virginity at an early age.
Many of the feminists in the comments on the video claimed that men have sex as some kind of ultimate goal in life and that for men it is positive to lose their virginity early on. But then why is this not being dealt with? Why does the majority of feminists not try to convince men that losing their virginity as soon as possible isn’t something positive?
The reason for this is that closed-mindedness. All the focus is on women, and because of that, feminism is missing out on a lot of solutions. We have now reached a point in (western) society where equality between men and women is commonly accepted by a great majority, yet it still sometimes seems as if the movement has hardly changed since the 1900s, while the situation was completely different back then.
In current society, a lot of gender issues require solving from multiple perspectives, and sometimes perceived inequalities aren’t even societal issues at all. After all, men and women are different, which means that there will always be “differences” (assuming that the time when men start getting pregnant is still very far away). Additionally, a lot of statistics and figures are exaggerated, because they still include the older generations who lived in times when gender equality was still much less prominent (it is only natural that a 60 year old woman who stopped working 30 years ago to look after the children earns less for the same job as a man who has had that job his entire life).
That doesn’t take away the fact that there is still inequality, but the problem is that it isn’t being dealt with the way it should be. Feminism was once a progressive, open-minded movement, because that is the only way it could have been successful, and unlike the rest of society, that requirement hasn’t changed. It still needs to be open-minded, and solutions need to be sought in every direction. Don’t take statistics or views as given facts, but be critical of them and always remain open-minded. That is the only way we can attain gender equality and it is the only way we can create a better society for ourselves.
Don’t forget to rate/share/like this post, and if you have any thoughts of your own, please do leave them in the comments! And if you’re new here? Feel free to like the Facebook page for regular updates, or try having a look at the list of most popular posts!
Since this is a more delicate topic, I can imagine that not everyone agrees. Conflicting views are always interesting, though, and they keep us sharp. Just keep one thing in mind before commenting: The Social Sciences rely on generalisations, but that does not mean that everything that is said automatically goes for everyone.
More on this topic from Dean Richards: