Feminism is Losing its Touch

Yesterday I was watching one of Laci Green’s videos, which, as usual, brewed up some criticism within me. I very much enjoy watching her videos, but I fear that the main reason for that is because they inspire me to think the opposite. Now, for those who don’t know Laci Green: She is a Youtuber who talks a lot about sex (in an educative way, I might add) and who is probably a prime example of a passionate feminist.

In yesterday’s video, she talked about losing your virginity, but what I was interested in was HOW she spoke about this: it was entirely focused on women. Soon, discussion in the comments evolved and the first feminist comments of “men’s situation is not comparable” and “it’s much worse for women” started popping up. Fair enough, you might say, and I don’t have the knowledge to disagree, but what I do know is that it is definitely the wrong way to approach an issue.

To explain this, I will get back to the roots of it all. When feminism first started to evolve, it was a wonderful initiative. It was progressive and it challenged existing norms, exactly as it should be. However, fast-forward to the 21st century, and you’ll find that feminism IS the existing norm, and as is always the case with whatever is commonly accepted in society, it has developed flaws.

Specifically, it has generally become a rather single-minded effort and the view that feminism in its current form is perfect is starting to become more dominant, while in reality, nothing “societal” is ever perfect. This closed-mindedness has led many feminists to focus primarily on the female perspective, and when change is necessary, it is always sought on the female side of the issue.

This brings me back to yesterday’s video: Laci discussed the issue that while it is positive for a man to lose his virginity early on, for women, it is often looked down upon, and “slut shaming” is almost exclusive to women. Once again, fair enough, this is indeed a problem. However, it is not solved by only focusing on women and trying to convince the world that it is fine to lose your virginity at an early age.

Many of the feminists in the comments on the video claimed that men have sex as some kind of ultimate goal in life and that for men it is positive to lose their virginity early on. But then why is this not being dealt with? Why does the majority of feminists not try to convince men that losing their virginity as soon as possible isn’t something positive?

The reason for this is that closed-mindedness. All the focus is on women, and because of that, feminism is missing out on a lot of solutions. We have now reached a point in (western) society where equality between men and women is commonly accepted by a great majority, yet it still sometimes seems as if the movement has hardly changed since the 1900s, while the situation was completely different back then.

In current society, a lot of gender issues require solving from multiple perspectives, and sometimes perceived inequalities aren’t even societal issues at all. After all, men and women are different, which means that there will always be “differences” (assuming that the time when men start getting pregnant is still very far away). Additionally, a lot of statistics and figures are exaggerated, because they still include the older generations who lived in times when gender equality was still much less prominent (it is only natural that a 60 year old woman who stopped working 30 years ago to look after the children earns less for the same job as a man who has had that job his entire life).

That doesn’t take away the fact that there is still inequality, but the problem is that it isn’t being dealt with the way it should be. Feminism was once a progressive, open-minded movement, because that is the only way it could have been successful, and unlike the rest of society, that requirement hasn’t changed. It still needs to be open-minded, and solutions need to be sought in every direction. Don’t take statistics or views as given facts, but be critical of them and always remain open-minded. That is the only way we can attain gender equality and it is the only way we can create a better society for ourselves.


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Since this is a more delicate topic, I can imagine that not everyone agrees. Conflicting views are always interesting, though, and they keep us sharp. Just keep one thing in mind before commenting: The Social Sciences rely on generalisations, but that does not mean that everything that is said automatically goes for everyone.

More on this topic from Dean Richards:

White Students Accuse Black Teacher of Racism: Lies, Bias and Bad Media

Sexism and the Meaning of the Mysterious Evil Called “Society”

How To Become Textbook Healthy: A Guide For Fangirls


About Dean Richards

A young student with a passion for writing. Aspiring author and human rights activist, but I write about anything. "If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree!" New blog post every Monday!
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4 Responses to Feminism is Losing its Touch

  1. anaopp says:

    Interesting post (very well-written, too!), but I think you contradict yourself. At one point you claim that feminism IS currently the norm, but then you go on to admit that inequality still exist. Could you explain that?

  2. Thanks! And the reason for that is that there are always people who deviate from the norm. Feminism is the norm, but that doesn’t mean that sexism has been completely eradicated. My precise views on the situation of sexism right now will take an entire book of explanation (it will be my bachelor thesis), but in the end, there are still sexists around. Not everyone has yet been convinced that men and women can both do the same jobs and have the same opportunities etc.

    Still, feminism is the norm, much like democracy is the norm in the west. Not everyone supports every single part of it, but almost everyone agrees with the fundamental idea behind it, and there are still people who would vouch for a monarchy, just like there are people who vouch for inequality between men and women. It is a very small minority, however, or at least it is in the younger generations who will still have an influence on society.

  3. anaopp says:

    On paper, most people in Western societies agree with gender equality (but not the f-word, which is irrationally hated). However, I still think that women are discriminated against, if less so, and more subtly, than 50 or 100 years ago. Look at the way we’re objectified in the media, judged on our appearance and our sexual conduct. How we’re expected to do most of the housework while working outside home no less than men do. Or simply type “human” in Google Images and realize that a big majority of the pictures represents white men – yet nobody is racist anymore, right?

  4. Now, those first three you mention are things I’m rather critical of. Just a few minutes ago I was going through my twitter timeline when I ran into this tweet: https://twitter.com/daarceyy/status/348199352344379393

    It has been retweeted millions of times and it pops up on my timeline at least once a day. At the same time, there are fandoms full of girls objectifying their male idols and pictures of shirtless guys are a whole lot more common on twitter than those of girls in bikinis. The only real difference is the opposition to it: objectification of women is fought against (which I find a good thing, by the way), but objectification of men is becoming just as prominent without anyone really opposing.

    In the end, you could conclude that we live in a society in which sex and objectification of people in general is very normal. It isn’t something I’m very happy about myself, but that’s just my opinion. There are millions of people who do support this movement of objectification (just check Laci Green’s videos, although I think she wouldn’t call it objectification), so I don’t think I should be fiercely opposing it. It’s a freedom people have.

    Anyway, judgement on appearance, at least where I live, is mainly done by girls to girls. Guys play a minor role in this. It is true that for women appearance is much more important in society than it is for men, and this is a problem, but right now, it isn’t men who are causing it anymore (which once again leads me to suggest a different approach in feminism, because otherwise it can never be solved).

    About sexual conduct: I’m struggling with the term a bit (my English is still far from perfect), but I think you mean the fact that women are not supposed to have sex all the time while for men it’s fine? Do correct me if I’m wrong. Anyway, that is what was discussed in Laci Green’s video, and it is an issue, but once again an issue that both goes ways. While women are judged for losing their virginity, men are judged for not losing it early enough, and those are two problems which have to be fixed.

    In the end, to me, it mainly comes down to differences rather than inequalities. Men and women have different issues, but generally, they are both nearly equally unequal, and I am sure that over the next few decades, as the older generations, with all respect, start dying, that equal inequality will become perfect.

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