Since last week’s post about stereotypes ended up being really popular, I figured I would make a part two. After all, the world has 197 countries, and they can’t all be summarised in one post! Unfortunately, I used up all the funny Google results last week, so instead, I had to use a different tactic and do some actual digging. Today I will be discussing four countries, while giving you an accurate and extremely reliable summary of exactly what the people in those countries are like!
First of all, let’s start with the A and say g’day to the Australians! Of course, they are most famous for their kangaroos. According to various sources, kangaroos hop through the streets of capital city Sydney and there are even taxi-services pulled by kangaroos! Unfortunately, this is just the start of how backwards the country is: they also don’t seem to have any electricity, supermarkets are scarce and they use boomerangs to catch their evening meal.
But of course that doesn’t take away the fact that it’s a wonderful country! There are lots of beaches with hot guys, people wear Indiana Jones hats and there are plenty of crocodiles to wrestle! If you’re a real dare-devil, you could even join one of the crocodile-wrestling clubs! There is just one reason why you might not want to go to Australia: it appears to be a German speaking country, which could be very difficult for tourists who don’t speak the language.
Moving on to the east, we’ll find Brazil, a wonderful South-American country with lots of positive stereotypes! For example, both the men and the women are very good at football (if only they’d stop calling it soccer…), they like partying, the women are beautiful and apparently walk around naked on the beaches, and they are very, very good at waxing! Finally, my personal favourite, they have the best gay pride in the world!
Tourists should be warned, though! According to a very reliable source (The Simpsons, it just doesn’t get any more reliable!), tourists might end up being attacked by fearsome monkeys while they’re walking the streets of Brazil’s capital city Buenos Aires. They should also be very wary of kidnapping taxi drivers and mugging children. Finally, there’s one more very surprising fact about the Brazilian people: they appear to be Hispanic and Spanish is their native language. Who knew!?
That brings us to the C, or in this case, Cambodia. Most Cambodians appear not to be from Asia at all: they are either Hispanic, half-black or even full black. They all have very big lips and big eyes, and on top of that, they seem to LOVE fish, so basically, considering the big eyes and lips, if you ever meet someone who you think might be from Cambodia, just ask yourself whether they resemble a particularly dark fish. Success guaranteed.
My favourite fact about Cambodians is that they all love doughnuts. Apparently, almost every Cambodian who lives in the US owns a doughnut shop, and since reliable sources have also informed me that they eat rice with EVERYTHING, I’m already looking forward to my rice-filled doughnut if I ever visit the country! Finally, an important notice for tourists: Cambodians prefer to be referred to as Khmer, and will get really annoyed if you call them Cambodians. Which is a big problem for me right now actually…
Anyway, there’s still Denmark to go before I get murdered by the apparently very numerous Khmer gangs! So, let’s see… Most important of all is that the Danish are apparently very happy, they have beautiful women and they love drinking. They also seem to be cannibals because many of my sources tell me that they are very tasty with strawberry or cherry flavour and served with breakfast. Tourists should definitely be wary for that: don’t let yourself be eaten!
Furthermore, Denmark is apparently so flat that the Danish are actually Dutch. They also seem to be rather experienced with having sex with animals (which is just plain creepy but completely legal), they absolutely love LEGO and the people are so tall that… well… they really are Dutch… Oh, and before I forget, they are both socialists AND racists, so basically it’s just the most confusing country on the planet. At least they have something to be proud of!
So that basically summed these countries all up! I hope you’ve learned a lot of new things and that your knowledge about other countries has really increased, because that’s what globalisation is all about! Now I should probably be going, though, because seeing as I got most of my information from websites arguing against all these stereotypes… well… it might be a good plan if I started running…
Before I leave, there are just a few things I want to clear up… You see, as it appears (and this is going to be a shocker!), stereotypes aren’t always true. So here’s a list of misconceptions I really don’t want anyone learning from me!
-There are no kangaroos in Sydney. I know, it’s disappointing, but unfortunately, not even every Australian has ever seen kangaroos… -Australia is actually a very modern country, and the people who have those stereotypes… well… I wonder who gave them their history lessons… -Unfortunately, Australians also don’t do professional crocodile wrestling… Why does the truth always have to be so boring!? -Sydney is not the capital of Australia… Canberra is. -Australians don’t speak German. In fact, contrary to popular belief, Austria and Australia are two different countries! (I know right!? Shocker!)
-Brazilians don’t walk around naked on the beach… I’m not sure if I want to discredit the stereotypes about their carnivals and football qualities though… -If you tell a Brazilian that their capital city is Buenos Aires, you better run away very, very quickly, because that’s the capital of Argentina. Ouch… (The actual capital of Brazil is Brasilia) -THE NATIVE LANGUAGE OF BRAZIL IS PORTUGUESE! Honestly, half the internet seems to think it’s actually a Hispanic country…
-The Cambodia story wasn’t even that far off, except of course they’re stereotypes and only apply to a few people… Oh, and the gang part is rubbish, of course. -Actually, I’m afraid the doughnut part might not be true either 😦 It sounded so nice! -The fish part was just evil, but come on… the stereotype did describe a fish quite perfectly…
-Unfortunately, Danish people aren’t so tasty after all… that would be the Danish pastry… Still, I’m sure those pastries are a whole lot cheaper to buy than an actual Danish person, so I’d consider it good news!
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